Sunday, September 17, 2006

Number One Hundred Four

I wore gloves today to church. I got inspired by the episode of Sex and the City in which Carrie and Miranda go to church to spy on Big and are both wearing gloves and a hat. I was also inspired by my friend Rebekah who is always wearing vintage clothes and accessories. The gloves I wore were some kid leather ones that were my grandmother's. They were more like driving gloves, but I didn't care. I just wanted to wear some, and my "proper" gloves are at my mother's house. I think some people thought I didn't know the difference. ;)

I think some people in my life who don't know me well think I'm stupid-- or just ultra naive like Charlotte. Neither of these is true, but I get really nervous when I'm in a group of people and have a hard time articulating myself. This seems hard to believe because I'm such an extravert, but it's true. Sometimes, I dive into a subject I don't know much about (eh hem... politics) just because I feel I haven't participated enough in the conversation, and then I feel like I'm in one of those dreams where one is standing naked in the middle of a crowd. Only I feel that I'm not only naked but also standing on a ledge above everyone so that they can gawk at me. This almost always happens when my husband and I go to lunch with a group of people, and I just want to hide under the table. Maybe this is all in my mind, but I always feel that awkward moment in the conversation when I've said something vague or worse-- something that makes absolutely no sense. Sometimes I don't even know where the thing came from, but there it is, staring me in the face saying, "What's your next move, smartie?"

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